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ever say die from page 12

the air, you'll always be making a first impression on someone.

I have a fairly good vocabulary—the result of Jiving with an upper middle class family which made a point of looking it up" when anyone misused a word-Just as I dress to convey to others the real Wayne Green—I also am carefui in my speech when meeting someone new. As I know them better I am more flexible in my dressing and my speech. I use dirty words sparingly, using them to communicate where needed for shock value—extreme emphasis.

The language used between a group on a 75m net who have been talking with each other nightly for months is going to be different from that used in first contacts. We shouid allow more latitude.

What Can We Do?

Okay, let's address the situation head on Lei's say you hear some jerk going way beyond the bounds of decency in language What shouid you do? Should you break in and arrogantly teil the sonofabitch off? Should you merely tune off the channel and sigh over what ham radio has come io? Should you try to jam the bastard? Note my use of emotion-stirring words as t talk about the people who are making you mad—mad when you just think aboui it! I suspect you agreed with my expressing my obvious distaste for these filthy, disgusting people with appropriate words.

My recommendation is to break in when you hear the bounds of propriety being overstepped— and I mean way overstepped, not just stretched a bit. Break in and teil the chap you find his language inappropriate for amateur radio. Be polite but firm, i guarantee he'll try to get you so mad you'll be inclined to sink to his level—so my suggestion is to make your statement and then tune the hell off the frequency before he can answer. Think about it. One thing your nervous system does not need is an attack on you—even over the air. It doesn't take very many such ac-nmomous events before you'll find yourseif avoiding your ham rig. No, say your piece as unemotionally as you can and1 leave the channel so you won't get burned by thefireworks.

You may think that your efforts to clean up the bands will be wasted. But look at it this way—tens of thousands of hams are reading this editorial. Maybe only a few hundred wili have the guts to actually do something about the language on our bands, but by the time a bad language user has been reprimanded—and been unable to pick a fight over ilp thus getting his jollies, he'll either start to clean up his act or will find himself hesitating 10 turn on his rig If hamming isn't funT we don't do it—so the idea is to make \\ less fun for the people who are making it less fun tor us.

No, it is not necessary for you to give your call tetters when you are helping to clean up our bandsAnd none of lhal sanctimonious crap (heh!) about it being illegal to transmit without giving your call. I don't see the rules helping us with bad language or bad operating, so don t wave rules at me, II use my call letters when I think they are needed, not to satisfy the FCC. The FCC could care less. They're getting out of the monitoring business anyway, so if we want our ham bands to be fun we damned well have to accept the responsibility for keeping them fun,

The H&R Block

Non Ifligitimi Carborundum— don't let the bastards wear you down. Wear them down instead. Wear them down by hit-and-run tactics—what i cal! the H&R Block.

This technique is effective on the low bands—and to some degree on VHF. But when you run into foul language on your repeater you may need a more effective approach Here, where your miscreant ts nearby, you have a whole array of possibilities

Just as I recommend every radio ciub have an l-Team—a group of three or so experienced amateurs who can keep their cool who go out and investigate every interference complaint against a local amateur—I also recommend clubs appoint a UFOTeam to handle perverse operators, UFO—Unofficial Friendly Operators.

The first step for the UFO-Team is to pay a friendly visit to a perpe trator and explain the club's view of his operating, if this doesn't work, a secona visit with some tapes of his activities, perhaps accompanied by a somewhat larger representation from the club, might get the message across. Hard-core nasties may call for creative measures. Would tapes of his operating and a note to neighbors, his family, his employer, and so forth help create a more relaxed atmosphere?

When the crazies group for support, your approach might best be to work on each one as a separate case and ignore the group. Each then can individually feel the weight of your group disapproval, but without the support of his crazy group to back him up.

Don't Be Officious

If you use your strength to swat a flea with a sfedge, you'll lose your credibility. Hassling someone for minor indiscretions will waste your power. Save your muscle for the hard-core cases, Yol have to be careful in selecting a club UFO-Team. There is a tendency for the power-seekers to find these jobs, You'll soon find them with UFO-Team signs on their cars, flashing red lights, and a barrage of tape recorders in their shack as they tune the ham bands, eagerly seeking anything and everything to hassle.

Feedback if your club has some success with an l-Team or a UFO-Team, make sure someone writes it up so I can publish it in 73 We don't have to live with bad operators— we just have to retrain them. Let me hear your war stories—particularly those where you've won some battles.


The biggest hamfest in the Southeast is the Atlanta HamFes-tival, , this year July 19-20, There are only a few major ham-fests where you'll see all of the maior manufacturers showing off their newest gear—where you can corner them and get answers, where you can get your hands on just about every ham product made—and Atlanta is one.

Yep. I'm planning on being there and I'll be giving a performance-bring your seat belt and your tranquilizers,

Atlanta is always a joy to visit. It's really geared for visitors. They're working to rebuild Underground Atlanta, but in the meanwhile you don t want to miss the refurbished Cyclorama—their updated zoo—and Stone Mountain, a nearby amusement park.

For you fat people (like me) there are great wonders, I seldom miss a pass at Aunt Fanny's Cabin. When I'm able to get someone to invite me out, I enjoy The Abbey—one of Atlanta's best (and most expensive) restaurants. Fatties will also go bananas over the buffet in the Marriott. There aren't many dessert buffets, but they've got one. Ice cream sundaes and banana splits, ice cream on pies, ice cream and cake. . . mm-mmmmm, I hope they haven't changed that.

Jazz fans will enjoy Walter Mit-ty's, where you'll probably see the Trio-Kenwood gang tripping.

It's time you got serious about packet radio anyway, so check email out at Atlanta.

Y*ail come,y'hear?

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